Our culture raises its boys and men not as human-beings but as human-doings. Our culture meticulously stifles, spins and strangles the potential of its women and girls, enlisting them as false-idols to train and motivate human-doings. In our culture, men and boys learn to live vicariously through women and girls. Men and boys learn to adore, crave, even exalt not the admirable ‘nature’ of women and girls but their abominable ‘nurture’: physical weakness, functional ineptitude and reckless frivolity. Men, women, boys and girls learn to hold men to an viciously high standard while holding boys, girls and women to a cripplingly low standard. And impossibly, men, women, boys and girls are taught to revere and even to worship not the hyper-effective men but the hyper-ineffective boys, girls and women. Then one day, boys must grow up.
I could rightly say that men in our culture have learned to be addicted to women; but more accurately, men in our culture have learned to be addicted to sex with a woman: men have learned even to be addicted to the ‘possibility’ of sex with a woman. But more accurate than any of that is this: our culture’s men, women, boys and girls terrorize boys and men for all their lives.
Low self-esteem brings high self-destruction
Plenty boys and men, in our culture, learn to believe that they have absolutely no intrinsic worth, and that their worth comes from how well they can impress, protect and provide for women; beyond providing and protecting, our culture’s men, women, boys and girls often consider men and boys to be worthless. Knowing this, it should surprise no one that, before a boy or a girl learns his or her gender-role, they are equally likely to commit suicide, whereas a boy is as much as 13 times more likely than a girl to commit suicide, once he accepts his gender-role.
Yesterday, a boy; today, a man
Once he is a man, not a boy, this person hears differently the news report which state, “Today, [something bad] happened, and 1,000 workers died, but more importantly so did ten innocent women and children!”
Our culture’s fetish for “women and children”
Girls remain part of “women and children” all their lives–first as children, then as women. However, in our culture, each boy’s life eventually crosses an imaginary line, not by any thought or action of his own, and he inherits all the bad of what the worst men have done–he is no longer a part of “innocent women and children;” men, women, boys and girls have downgraded the boy to the status of a “man.” Every boy first sees it happen to many boys before him; eventually it happens to him.
In their more honest thoughts, men and boys resent when they lose their innocence–when it is stolen from them. This resentment spurs men to spurn women, as the men subconsciously long for the feeling, now long past, where it seemed that they would be forever adored as boys–as part of “innocent women and children.”