Charlemagne Tha God talks about stupid Donald Trump & beautiful Michelle Obama, on Cooning With Colbert

Charlemagne Tha God on 'Cooning with Colbert', July 2016

Charlemagne Tha God on ‘Cooning with Colbert’, July 2016

“Donald Trump is an insult to America’s intelligence,” scienced Charlemagne Tha God, during a July 2016 interview with Stephen Colbert’s hilariously dead mom’s son.

Professor Tha God then articulately pointed out that, “Kim Kardashian has a nice ass,” thereafter noting as well that “Michelle Obama has a nice ass,” and further remarking that Michelle Obama “is very beautiful,” that he “would never want Michelle Obama to age poorly, like white women,” and that, “Donald Trump has erectile dysfunction.”

Tha God then restated his thesis: “Donald Trump is an insult to America’s intelligence.”

Black president gives his black seal of black approval

obama-nobel-peace-prize

In response to Professor Tha God’s amazing insights, Nobel Peace Prize laureate Barack “Iraqi Kid Melter” Obama announced, “ee ah ee ah, ya know? folks think Charlemagne Tha God should receive the Barack Obama Medal Of Articulateness, and Michelle and I agree.”

Black ‘research’ at Atlanta “AID’s Capital” Georgia’s presigious Spelman College

Further reaction to Saint Tha God’s sane wisdom came from Black Academia (sic), where a team of black she-scientists comprised of Spelman College’s finest Ph.D.s in African American Studies conducted research on the key to Michelle Obama’s beauty, as well as ‘why white women be aging like they stressed the fuck out’.

Stock photo of a black actor pretending to science

Stock photo of a black actor pretending to science

The research was the longest and most in-depth in the history Spelman college, as well as the longest, most in-depth research in the history of all Historically Black Colleges and Universities (HBCU) in general.

After nearly 3 hours of black women chattering together about not a goddam thing, and 2-finger typing with the 3-inch gold-plated fingernail on each index finger, the black queen researchers emerged from the club, ready to present their findings.

“All available research be indicating that Michelle Obama be looking like a monster,” according to published findings by lead researcher Shaquita Diamond Beautiful Lovely Cherish Perfect Wizen Queen Washington, aka Pushpa Parekh Ph.D.

''Studies indicate that Michelle Obama looks like a Monster'' -science

”Studies indicate that Michelle Obama looks like a Monster” -science

Profile of a black she-genius

Doctor Washington became famous last Kwanzaa, after setting a world record for most Nobel Prizes. Her personal Nobel Prizes include awards for:

  • Sassy
  • Loud
  • Self-righteous
  • Self-pitying
  • Condescending
  • Justified Racist
  • Empowered Narcissist

Additionally, Dr. Washington accepted several posthumous Nobel Prizes on behalf of her ancestors — every black person. Those awards included:

  • Building Pyramids
  • Inventing Peanut Butter
  • Inventing Slavery
  • Inventing Hypocrisy

Washington’s team of black scientists also presented findings on why white women age so much worse than black women: “The data we compiled suggests a strong correlation between Aging and Thought: people age worse and worse, the more they use their brain and think deeply, objectively, honestly and purposefully,” according to the Spelman team’s report.

Asked about the apparent discrepancy between the research findings and the common knowledge that black women age very well yet also think deeply, objectively, honestly and purposefully — the researchers responded by having purple and blonde wigs, rotten teeth, crooked smiles, faded stupid tattoos, a startling sense of entitlement, and an embarrassing lack of introspection.

And they lived  happily ever after

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